“‘…My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness…’” 2 Corinthians 12:9
This month has been a pretty stressful one for me. For the last couple of weeks, I’ve been feeling blah about my businesses. And yesterday, I kind of just had a complete breakdown, and I started questioning myself and what I was doing. To keep it all the way real, I was feeling like this: I’ve been putting in all this work, working all these hours, seven days a week, putting all of this energy into what I feel like is my purpose, and I feel like I’m not getting the results I should quick enough….and I really just want to say FORGET THIS! I mean, I feel like I do all the “right” things: I invest (my time and/or money) in webinars/teleseminars/etc.; I let people know what I have going on without being spammy; I connect with and network with people, but there are moments when I just feel like it’s getting me nowhere, which is super frustrating.
But as I was journaling last night, I thought about something my friend said at church on Sunday, that “when we say and sing songs like, I Give Myself Away, we should really be aware of what we’re saying. ” Because when we say that (and mean it), God’s going to take us through things to get us where we need to be and to the point where it is just about Him. And I realized that I’ve told God that I want to do what He wants me to do and that I want people to see Him through me and get the glory in my businesses and life. What I also realized is that when I worry about if/when the money is coming in (like I think it’s supposed to), if I’m worrying about why these people aren’t noticing me or if I start feeling like this whole thing is stupid because it’s not working how/when I think it should, then I’m not fully letting God show through me, nor am I allowing Him to work in me because while I may continue to do the things I’m supposed to do, I’m not trusting Him 100%, and I’m not content with the situation.
What I know now: It’s not about me! I have to accept the fact that this process I’m going through right now is to get me where I need to be, and in the end, He will get the glory because honestly, there’s nothing I can do to make things how I think they should be. Whatever I have to go through to become the woman I (and He wants) me to be, well, I just have to go through it : )
So in those moments when I feel weak, like I just can’t do this for another second. When I feel like, “What the heck are you doing, girl? This ain’t workin’!” When I feel like throwing my computer out of the window and crawling under the bed, HE is strong. And after I’ve done all I can do and darn near cried my eyeballs out, I can keep moving forward with His strength.